Dad Jests

Whats an angry system error?
When offending dolphins what do you always worry about?
How do samurai tell you about their day?
Im not talking to you?
What vegetables are so great they may end up weighing you down when you have too many?
What is it called when you tie rope for a living?
Why shouldnt you worry about being in a vacuum?
Why shouldnt you be sarcastic with a kleptomaniac?
What do you call your gut reaction when someone tries to quiet you?
Why was ariel singing about a whole new world?
Im on top of it?
Chestnuts roasting in an %f0%9f%8eopen file cabinet?
Why did man curse out his server after dinner?
This can go one of many different ways?
What kind of drinks do seagulls order?
Whats ice cream that doesnt care about you?
What are double negative jokes?
How can you really be confident you didnt get stabbed today?
Snow day?
When convinced that compared to a swimming pool a water hole would be better what did the man say?
Where do young biochem students bring their laundry?
What do you day when you are surprised with 5th dimensional insects?
Whats another name for a crappy carrier pigeon sounds like old times arcade game?
How do you know youre getting better at breaking wind?
What kind of code do you write to make people laugh?
What do you call the time when birds are allowed on a tree?
What does a statistician call it when a football pass hits dirt between two receivers?
What is it called when pigeons fly in small groups?
How do you offend loud comedians?
Whats a movie you cane talk about it even if everyone has seen it?
Where do you drink on the way to your dining room?
How do you get a jungle animal by chance?
What do cats say when theyre in the back of your car?
What is it called when a tree falls in the forest and someone hears?
Whats getting high while young called?
What is it called when three physicists push a car up a hill?
How do you tell your bartender to give you more bourbon than usual by accident?
How do you blow up an online shopping cart?
How do you know when snow is too dangerous to pass over?
How do you know its a cold world out there?
Why dont we hear ourselves doing math most times?
How do we know tomatoes are sensitive creatures?
What kind of slippers do birds wear?
What did the piece of paper say?
What is the list of blog posts called that you have in draft?
Whats the plural of geese?
What do you call whiskey from city outskirts?
Whats it called when a country is really bad at warfare is really bad at warfare but keeps on trying til they get it right?
What do toddlers say when you ask them to substantiate their past whereabouts?
How do you tell a giraffe its a vegetarian?
Which bears will only sometimes attack you?
What are time machines from a software point of view?
What is it called when a psychologist falls?
How do you get less than equality?
What was the name of the first burglar?
Where do dogs go on the weekends to shop for new coats?
Whats a good tree for making sunglasses?
What is an 80s movie title that reads like walking backwards?
How do particle physicists known when ducks lose mass?
When youre tired?
What called when someone is thinking about reinventing the shovel?
Which people are often building flimsy arguments?
How does a contagious innuendo start off like?
By definition what kind of jokes do neanderthals make?
What cheese is popular with vampires?
How do you say day package in spanish?
What did the ignoramus say to the deaf person?
What is another wording for sophisticated booty?
What fruit would you trust your kids with?
What is the psychological analysis of a drive by?
Whats it called when someone is stung at the end of a magic trick?
Why are sausage links so popular?
What is it called when someone steals your clothing from the washing machine?
What should stealing restaurant salt be called?
What do you call it when you say more than one joke at a time?
What clothing do you pop your collar on to honor bringing back old diseases which humanity has once gotten rid of?
When does the vacation end?
What do you get for passing a turing test?
How much space do documentaries usually take up?
When is horse before cart important?
Fitbit in the wash data?
What do you call when you put horses into confinement?
What did the traffic camera say when seeing a car that was driving down the road?
When you have empathy for your friend what do you really have?
What do chefs carry for self defense?
Whats an easy way to heat up water with logic?
During thanksgiving what is it called when you dont eat waiting for someone else to show up at the table?
What game does the drug enforcement agency play essentially?
Food allergies are one thing but cat allergies?
What is a good sub title for a book about coffee?
Why is it good to finance kangaroos?
How do you properly shoot a desert eagle?
Whats a light bulb you instinctively know is not bright enough?
When asked to submit her finger to the ink for fingerprinting what did the woman say?
Whats the most important part about telling a good pregnancy joke?
Whats an awesome tagline for a moving service?
Which snakes are good at solving puzzles?
What is a dangerous reading habit?
What is elevator ?
What's one good thing comes from foot traffic ?
Did baseball used to be dangerous ?
Why does one get a beer belly ?
What does someone do who trying to find a successful olympian ?
They were into water purification, so what did the friends call their band?
Why did the new swat team member bring a broom?
How does a contagious innuendo start off like ?
How does a physicist calculate an interest rate?
Why didn't the pupil do the math homework?
What is a private mailing address in peru called?
What do you call the shortest monarchy in history?
What is a squirrel with lending ability from a hole in the ground called?

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